What to do about Cyber Bullying

So what to do about cyber bullying? Let me start with this quote I made:

"The wise need not boast. Those who lack wisdom however looks down upon the meek with the arrogance that a fly on top of a cow shows. Forgetting that it is a fly and not a cow."

This had been said and rephrased in countless ways and versions but the essence remains the same. As for me, it was a reply to an online character known for bullying or shall I say cyber bullying in a Philippine based forum that I frequent. It was in retaliation to a repulsive act which I believe is something I do not deserve at all. It will be the last message I will ever send to that online character so I made sure to make the most out of it. Afterwards, the ignore list takes it place.

The quote speaks for itself and I'd rather not elaborate since it only reminds me of how disdainful it was to have a taste of cyber bullying when I have practically made the cyber world a second home for the past decade. All I'm sure is that the aforementioned character simply enjoys what she does and I am not her only victim.

I keep on using the term "online character" when pertaining to this person because as we know, anyone can portray anything and everything they want to online. One can be a superhero, a billionaire, a superstar, and what not over the internet. Some people who knows this online character also claims that she is actually nice IRL (in real life). The bullying over the forum boards is just a facade and is not what she is in person.

Whether it be true or not, bullying is still bullying. It also does not matter whether it is in real life or online. In fact it is actually less of a problem to be bullied IRL when compared to being bullied online. Experiences can be forgotten in a few months or years such as bullying during school years. Those which occur over the internet though have greater impact since these cannot be easily forgotten nor deleted. Worse, word about it may spread like wild fire especially during this age of social media. Before you know it, everyone already does.

Some instances of cyber bullying may happen out of one's own carelessness. People giving out too many pertinent information about them in public places online is one. These details can be used against them. So for those who cannot help but be present in cyber space always, best to keep a few things private. There are privacy settings which can be utilized in a website in order to have this done. So that's what to do about cyber bullying.

In my case, it maybe just about  an online character on the loose since there is no knowing who she is in real life. With that note, some can bully over the Internet without bounds because they cannot be reprimanded afterwards. The solution to my issue would have been simple, just simply place the online character's username in the ignore list. This hides all posts from that ID from the viewing pane. The same reason why I did not utilize the option before. It kills the purpose of a forum thread if you do not get to read opinions from all members including those from trolls and bullies. There is still an option to display the ignored user's post though should you wish to do so. Yet I only made the most use of the ignore option recently.

I had prior experiences when it comes to bullying during school days. But it was in elementary school and we were like 12 years old. People grow up and so did we. He turned out to be a nice person after more than a decade afterwards. But during the time when it was happening, he was a perfect example of one of the psychological explanation behind bullying and bullies.

Some say people who are bullies and engage in bullying had also been bullied before or are currently being bullied by another while they bully someone else to pass it on. Pressure from others such as friends and even family may have something to do it with it as well. At times, it may be low self esteem which also triggers bullying.

As for that former classmate of mine, pressure may have been the explanation. As I've learned, he was constantly pressured by his dad who was a professional back then to perform in school. As for the cyber bullying online character I was talking about, I wouldn't know what's behind the act. I doubt if it was all an act though with everything she had done in relation to it. She bothered copying, saving, and uploading my Facebook pictures in her Photobucket account. Kinda pathetic right?

I can make assumptions about the reason behind what she does or did but it doesn't matter. If it was really not a game, I couldn't guess which of the aforementioned reasons was the explanation to her behavior. I may say it is the latter - on self esteem. People grow up and so did we is only applicable to me and my elementary school classmate. With only in our twenties, he had learned how to deal with pressure and I in handling bullies. Yet this online character is already in her late thirties or even early forties as some had gossiped about but is still living as if she was left in her school years when bullying was common. Considering her age, could it be a manifestation of what they call middle life crisis?

Kidding aside, ignoring it as I've mentioned earlier is still the best means to deal with cyber bullying. I have learned about that in a painful way. It was ego which provoked me to fight back and worsen the situation. Here applies the quoted statement at the beginning: "the wise need not boast..." Had I simply ignored everything from the very beginning and not become full of pride, it would not have progressed anymore.

An online friend had a suggestion which is somewhat related to the ignoring option. It was based on the famous and well proven technique mentioned in the Art of War by Sun Tzu. This is no war although the writings in that book was intended for it. The lessons behind each chapter can be applicable in today's modern world though even if it was written more than 2500 years ago. In the book, it is taught how to win a fight without fighting and how to fight without actually fighting. It applies not only on bullying but on every situation where another person or group threatens to steal happiness away. So that's one more way on what to do about cyber bullying.

To conclude, the lines "the wise need not boast" can be applied to a situation where cyber bullying exists. Let the bullies boast of whatever they need to boast. He who is wise does not need to do so. How the wise lives his life is a loud statement on its own. That's the best way to answer the question on what to do about cyber bullying.