For Forgetful People

The writing below are for forgetful people, not the forgetful people you have in mind. I'm talking about forgetful people with medical or psychological issues such as amnesia, dementia, schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, and so on.

But how can we find something that is not lost to begin with? All forgotten memories and another self (if there is such a thing) experiences remain in your heart where it can not be stolen, not even by your forgetful mind. The only downside is that in between the forgetting and remembering stage (lasting months or may even be a year the same way it does for delusions), there is this empty space within your whole being that no matter what you do, say or think, nothing seems to be able to fill the void.

During the forgetting part, we look like idiots not understanding what's going on around you. The truth stares you straight in the eye and you look away because you have no idea who or what it was. You do feel the unexplained pain and indescribable sadness though that you may end up simply screaming, destroying stuffs and even hurting yourself to cope up with this ignorance. You may just have to scribble lines and verses or drown your self in words and music to ease the pain.

After such time is over when  forgetful people think it is nirvana to be remembering, it actually is and is not at the same time. It may feel as liberating as the thought of free falling down Kennon Road yet when time and circumstance takes over, the sense of loss is far greater than what was retrieved to begin with. 

True, there is freedom when you are untied from the chains of bipolar forgetting and you meet your self at last but since it takes a while to remember, the urgency to catch up with the past will wear your hopes down. The sense of loosing your sanity, your opportunity to be the person you really are, your happiness of some sort; are swallowed by the fact that it may be too late and there may be nothing you can do to change anything or to even bring it back to how it was when you are not yet amongst the forgetful ones in the world.

So although you have not lost anything because they were all there just hiding in the chasms of your cursed personality disorder, you are still lost behind the bars of innocence, not knowing that you actually know nothing and not knowing why.