Can Open Relationships Work and More Philosophical as well as Existential Thoughts

So let me slap you with the question right away, “can open relationships work?” But as to why I ever came up with this thought has something to do with the adventures and misadventures of one fine Tuesday this week.

I’ve been wanting a drink since broad daylight of that fateful day. Good thing friends are around to dine and drink wine with me. Supposedly, I wanted to forget my thoughts for a moment. Or is it the other way around? I needed to rewind them? Still, it turned out to be a chance to relax and unwind. Although I was busy the whole day due to numerous plans, I was able to spend time with friends eating out, mall-ing, and then drinking at night till the wee hours of 3 AM in the morning. We were able to hop through three bars.

On the first bar, someone gave me a drink. Suddenly, October 9 became my birthday because a friend said so. :) The band playing sang to the tune of the birthday song and the guy sang the song Collide by Howie Day and dedicated it for me. I got more drinks from the same guy. We got more free drinks which we were not able to consume in another bar too. The guy and his uncle, who seems to enjoy the company of one of my friends actually left before we did. She seems to be getting attention from older men online and offline or in real life. But she isn't the type who would take advantage of them for money. No, you can't buy her. 

Now too bad for the guy who seemed to have taken interest in me that night because no amount of B.S. can persuade me to dance nor do anything else other than relax, rewind my thoughts, and unwind. Besides, I've worked in the call center world for 5 years or so. I know when it's B.S. and I know when it's true. Too bad he can't convince my friends either with his philosophies and existentialist thoughts on life, love, and relationships. He can read people like a psyche though and I would have applauded him for seemingly knowing what I had in mind. Yes, there’s really something else I’m looking for. It isn’t adventure, liberty, or anything. It’s just a missing chapter or chapters comparable to that of an amnesia patient not remembering specific and selective memories only. This reminds me of that movie 50 First Dates and the beloved character Forgetful Lucy.

The same guy above also has a point when he said that there cannot be total satisfaction when there's something missing. Not even marriage, relationships, and kids can fill that missing piece. Exactly why I was there to begin with! I was searching for that missing piece in the deepest recesses of my thoughts, memory, or whatever remains of it. If it's even real to begin with or if I actually finally have the right person now to fill out the patches all over my mind. 

The guy in the bar had supposedly been slapped with annulment from his ex-wife. It wasn't about any third party; it's just that they wanted separate lives. It cost him 2 years and Php 150,000. That doesn't seem to be so expensive then if he's not bluffing. From what I've heard, annulment in the Philippines may take as long as 5 years in court with fees amounting to as much as half a million. Still, that same guy in the bar lost over a seemingly heated debate about sexual preference and what not. He can never understand why some are bisexual, have kids, even married at that, and yet are sharing sexual relationships with the opposite sex. No amount of explaining can convince him. Neither can he do the same to my friends. So with that, I'll simply dismiss these thoughts with that famous quote, “to each man his own.” Let’s just respect people’s preferences.

Now going back to the title question, as I've mentioned earlier, I have no idea. But one of the friends I was with that night (actually one of my friend’s cousins) is currently married with a kid yet he is gay and is staying with a guy. He supports his child and can actually live with the mom and yet may also stay with the beau. Weird isn’t it? But it’s not for me to judge.

But just to provide a brief explanation about open relationships, these are those which characterized by having one or more romantic or sexual entanglements with the freedom to do so on either party. So based on that definition, what do you think if I ask the same question above “can open relationships work?”