A number of my male friends were once
a best man for a wedding and one of them explained the origin of a best man in
weddings. According to him, there was no
exact era as to when the tradition of a best man started. But he believes that the best man was created
to protect the groom from the bride.
Huh?! He further explained that
in the early days before Christ was born, all brides were virgins. The first sexual intercourse was painful and
caused trauma to brides leading to development of hate, disgust, and anger
towards the groom. So, to eliminate the
situation, the best was conceived and he had the duty of deflowering the virgin
bride and the best man absorbed all the anger, hatred, and disgust instead of
the husband.
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| Wedding of Rita Hayworth to Orson Welles with Joseph Cotten as best man |
I knew that the idea was not
plausible. Men in general are
territorial and possessive and they do not want to share what is perceived to
be their own possession and the bride is a possession to them. Reading several articles about the origin of
the best man tradition pointed to a certain need. Unfortunately, the need to drive away the negative
feelings of the bride towards groom is not one of such reasons. It proved further that I was just taken for a
ride by my friend.
Short Supply of Brides
The tradition originated because there
was no more bride available in the community.
In the olden days, a German Goths’ future husband would select his future wife
within his territory but when there was none available, he would select a male
partner to search and capture a bride from other communities or
territories. Naturally, the groom would
select the best man in the community to help him with his operation or mission.
The role of the best man was not limited to helping the groom invade and kidnap
a bride. He also had the responsibility to protect the bride from being rescued
by the brides’ family. This is the
reason why the groom used to stand at the right side of the groom so he could
have easy access to his weapons.
Evolution of Best Man Roles
The tradition of best man extended
into different eras in history but his role as a guardian or protector for both
the bride and groom diminished over the years.
This is because situations have changed due to an evolution of cultural
beliefs and traditions. Introduction of
religious beliefs and practices have also contributed to the changing role of
the best man. In some countries, the
role of the best man was important prior to engagement. He helped the groom court his future wife
instead of capturing him. Since there is
no longer a need to carry weapons to ward off the bride’s family, the best man
is now considered to be a witness to the wedding and during reception he holds
the privilege of offering a speech in honor of the groom.
Contributed by: Alden I. Bula
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