5 Hard Facts That New Moms Weren't Informed About...

So you have your first baby. Congratulations! After 9 months of carrying your child in the womb, you finally met him or her. And to nurture your baby and see him grow right before your eyes is such a life-changing event.

But despite the profound elation of having a baby, being a new mother is such an overwhelming stage to a woman’s life. Yes, you might have heard the difficulties that you pretty much sure are guaranteed to face, but in reality, as in IN THE REAL WORLD-- those adjustments are sometimes way too much to bear and seem endless and you wonder if there’s ever a room for you to breathe. The changes are served raw and cold and most often are definitely not delivered in a silver platter. And you will be caught off-guard and crying (which I am guilty of). Like most of the time!

Okay, I don’t mean to press your panic button but these are cold truths that we should gracefully embrace. I have 5 hard facts about being a new mom that I myself had encountered (or is still currently experiencing) that I want you to be aware of and how to possibly cope up with them:

It's No Longer About You

Being a mother will require a selfless and devotional servitude to your little one. And with loads of chores and tasks that you have to do every day to tend your baby’s needs, you will soon realize that you have little or sometimes no time to think about raiding your favorite mall on its 50% off sale, and wearing your killer stilettos in your pretty black dress is the last thing on your mind…especially on your first few months. Funny because 24 hours is no longer enough for you to do all the household chores and your alone time usually will be when you hit the shower. Priorities will change and soon you will realize that yours surprisingly is at the bottom of the heap.

Coping With It

Believe me, this one isn’t that difficult and a lot of new mothers wouldn’t really mind. When you have a baby, you will develop this maternal instinct of protecting your child and his or her welfare will soon be your newest obsession. Embracing the new role can be hard at first and we mothers are known for sacrificing our whims just for the sake of our little ones.

Honestly, I have never sacrificed this much…giving out those that I love the most just to give all the attention and time for my baby…but I don’t feel any regrets…because he’s all worth it!

Your Husband Will Become Your Easy Target of Mood Swings

The first year is the hardest. Not only are you in a crazy emotional roller coaster but even your marriage will be challenged and if you will not be cautious about it, it might turn into a dangerous curb. At first I thought that we are the only ones experiencing this bumpy ride but when I researched about it, I was in a way pacified by the fact that it really is a phase that every couple has to deal with once they became parents.

Many new moms will assume that having a baby will bring them closer to their partners but soon will be shocked to find themselves at their husband's throat instead.  The usual causes? We women are very vocal when it comes to our emotions; we love the drama while our men are not showy and usually are reserved. And because of that, we think that our husbands are unsympathetic nor do not understand the difficulties that we are dealing with taking care of our babies. Not to mention the fact that they were used to being the “apple of our eyes” then suddenly here comes the baby and soon all our attention and energy are focused to our little ones. Aside from that, there will be added priorities and responsibilities so men usually are pressured to work harder to support the family while new moms are expecting more emotional support from their husbands which usually will cause clashes if demands aren’t met.

Coping With It

I talked to my husband about it and he assured me, that men are so much aware of the struggles that we women are dealing with when we became mothers. That’s why they do their responsibilities the best way they can for us.

It is important that you remain to have an open communication so you can sort things out and to continue to encourage each other. Parenting is a two-way street that needs to be taken one step at a time. Try to exert effort to still make time for each other. Alone time doesn’t necessarily mean to go out with your husband; cuddling in bed while you talk about how the day went or just chatting sometimes is good enough to recharge you both.

You Will Become a Walking Calculator

Let’s face it. When we’re younger and single, we want to splurge most of our money shopping for shoes, clothes, makeups, food trips, out-of-town travels and gimmicks.

But that will abruptly change when you have a baby. The money that you usually spend for those personal whims will soon be allotted to diaper and milk expenses, immunization shots, vitamin expenses, baby stuff, not to mention the thought of our baby’s education even if you just gave birth! Every time you will shell out cash you will mentally compute the budget still at hand and how to tighten it to make it until the next pay out.

Finances all of a sudden will be one of the inevitable start of discussions. Being a new parent will sometimes question our capabilities for the money that we make, especially covering those expenditures as our kids grow older.

Coping With It

Don’t let the pressure eat you alive. Start to make a list of your short and long-term goal with your husband and talk about possible means of earning extra cash. Money is a sensitive topic. Don’t make it mandatory for your husband or even you to work extra hours because of the fear for the future. Just take things easy, remember, with faith God will provide everything.

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You Don't Recognize Yourself in the Mirror

That happened to me. There was a time I was just alone in the ladies restroom and I no longer recognize the woman in the mirror. My face looks bloated, I have dark circles in my eyes, my hair is unruly and my skin looks dry. And I ask myself, “What happened to me?” What will I expect? From being used to having an hour to prepare myself every time we go out, that was just cut to 10-15 minutes so I usually just rush trying my best to look decently made.

Losing weight is another thing. Losing weight and going back to your pre-baby size is never that easy. And the pressure is unnerving seeing those celebrities (local or international) who were able to bounce to their sexy self back just months after giving birth (well, having the money to undergo invasive or non-invasive means of losing weight or having a personal trainer usually is the secret). How about us mere mortals? And even those who lost weight quickly will agree that their body has changed in other ways.

Losing weight is just the tip of the mountain. How about the stretch marks, sore nipples, varicose veins, larger hips, sagging breasts, dry skin, hair fall and the hardest part of all---the baby blues, sleep deprivation, mood-swings and hormonal changes?

Coping With It

Nothing will ever compensate the joy that your baby brings. I just console myself that I will eventually have my ideal weight back. A lot of mothers will put their babies in the stroller and take a good walk in the neighborhood. Others are into diets and cleansing. Whatever works for you is okay so long as you are not rushing yourself. Remember your body took 9 months of changes internally and in the outside so don’t pressure yourself.

Loving yourself and seeing the positive sides of the physical changes is the most important key to self-esteem. Be proud for being carefully chosen by God to nurture another life. Just take your time. Anyway, your body will be the one to tell you if it is time to go back. I am just thankful that my husband doesn’t really mind at all and is supportive about me going back to my pre-baby size even if I had been planning for it for more than a year now.

Work Will Sound Like Really a Lot of Work

You might be enjoying your work before you became pregnant but once your baby arrive, your work will become more tedious and you think that there’s no room for mistakes. All of a sudden, you are trapped juggling your time between work and your responsibilities as a mother and you think that you are not good enough performing both.

So many times I cried because I think that by investing my time and focusing on my work makes me less of a mother and being more of a mother robs my reputation of being an effective employee. There is a constant battle and it is hard.

Most of the time, a lot of mothers will quit their jobs and work at home just like me but what they don’t know is that, it’s twice harder because everything has to be divided—attention, energy, focus, and time. I am serving two bosses at a time when one is difficult enough already.

My multi-tasking skills has been greatly challenged and until now is still an issue, especially because my son’s sleeping pattern is at a constant change. I have to always adjust my work time to the extent that I got sick because I always sacrifice my sleeping time.

Coping With It

Admit that you are human and not a robot. Because if you don’t, you will just end up super burnt out, stressed and frustrated. We all have limitations, so if you do work, make sure that you really can handle it well. If your finances will allow you not to work for a year to take good care of your baby, then let it be. If not, and you can afford it, get a nanny, or ask your mother or a relative to take care of your baby while you work.

I have learned as well to never sacrifice your health because of the pressure of being a mother and a career-woman. Because if you do, you will not only end up sick, you will not be able to take care of your baby and you will be out of work while you recuperate miserably.

I am sure there’s still a lot to tell but these are what I had experienced. Always bear in mind that you don’t need to be perfect and in control of everything. That will never happen. Motherhood is a tailored responsibility depending on how it works best for you. Don’t compare yourself with other mothers that you know, most especially adapting their ways of raising their kids because your little one is unique and you have to learn how to raise him effectively yourself .

If you are pressured and you feel like things are not working the way you want it to be, talk to your husband, your mother, your friends who are mothers as well or try to involve your self into different mommy forums online. You will surely learn a lot of styles and soon you will realize that you are not alone in the journey.

Enjoy your motherhood!