5 Questions That Get Guys Going on a First Date

First date is the first of “oh-so-many” which may lead to a potential romantic relationship so it can either make you or break you.  Yup, it is nerve-wracking but if you were able to engage your date into a great conversation, then it is the first step in creating that “spark” towards an amazing chemistry. The goal is to make a lasting impression.

Always remember to ask open-ended question that can open doors to other topics depending on your date’s responses. Your date is not a questionnaire, so the last thing you want to ask is something answerable by yes or no!

I made it specifically for guys on their first date as a guide coming from a lady’s perspective so you would know how we (women) feel about those questions and how the spontaneity of the date depends on them.

Note: This isn’t in chronological order so you might want to start with the last, or the middle, feel free to utilize it.

5 Questions that can get you going on your 

First Date

What are Your Interests?

When you asked someone to go out with you, that’s because you like her and you would like to know more about her. So asking her about what she likes the most opens to more doors of exciting topics like what kind of music she is into, the books she reads, the types of movies she loves watching, food that she wants to indulge with, her pets if she has any, it can be anything!

The moment you ask the question, you will notice how her face lightens up as she shares you those personal details that she loves the most. It’s like asking what makes her smile or happy. So be attentive and know how to respond. Her interests might be the same as yours.

What are You Passionate About?

Unlike interest which is more on the lighter side of wanting to know what she is into, asking about what she is passionate about is a way of knowing how she engages herself into this compelling enthusiasm over something. From the word passion, this is more of an intense feeling about a person or a thing.

So when you ask a girl what she is passionate about, expect that she will talk about how she uses her creativity into a fruitful endeavor like being into arts, creating music, writing, singing, how she is being motivated by life, of being passionate about her faith, and more. It can be doing community service like a feeding program for the orphans, running for a cause, serving the church, or it can be living the dream that she is always longing for.

By knowing her passions in life, it gives you the chance to know her aspirations and dreams and how she perceives her purpose in a deeper state, which is the most beautiful thing. It is like her inviting you to this deep emotional corner that not everyone is invited in.

How’s Your Relationship with Your Family?

Her outlook in life often starts at home. And we know so much how our relationship with our parents, siblings and other immediate family members molded our character and values in general. Knowing a little bit about her family is like having a glimpse of how her household plays a great role in her life.

Although this is just a first date, personally, it means a lot to a girl. For me, one of the reasons why I was so into my now husband is because he asked me on our first date how my family relationship is. I love my family, mine might not be perfect (no one does) but I love to talk about how I was brought up into distinctive qualities I now have because of my family.

What are the Qualities You are Looking for?

The moment she agrees to go out with you means she wants to give it a shot and is willing to know if you are too.  There is a caveat, believe it or not, but every woman has her own checklist, either mentally noted or scribbled somewhere that only she can check from time to time.  Some may say that they’ve set a high bar for a potential relationship partner but others are so willing to change the standards once they meet someone who is worth knowing.

Although some guys are a bit hesitant to ask the question on the first date (most likely for the fear of opening up a can of worms), I’d say just go ahead. Everyone has his unique characteristics and personalities (which includes the strengths and callouses) and by hearing a girl say what are those she is looking for in a partner gives you the idea if you are that potential guy that she might be referring to. It is a “take it or leave it” proposition so just be open to the idea.

What I love about it is once you ask her about the qualities; it will always be reciprocated. She will immediately ask yours. That at least gives you the cue if this will be the last date you will ever have or if she wants to go out again with you.

What are Your Fears? And the Things that Annoy You?

You already know those things she loves the most, now it’s time to ask her fears, struggles and challenges in life and even those that ticks her off. Nobody is perfect. We always have a waterloo and talking about it can be helpful to get a different perspective so she would know how to conquer her fears.  

From the fear of death or of dying alone, fear of lizards and spiders, to the dislikes of half-cooked hamburgers and procrastinators, again you will be surprised at what she is about to say. Who knows? You might end up as the knight in shining armor who will help her face her fears.

More Tips for a Lasting Impression

1.   This is your first date. So don’t overwhelm her by asking a lot of personal questions that she doesn’t really want to talk about or is uncomfortable in discussing.

2.    Be spontaneous. Don’t make it appear like she is into an interrogation and you are a detective of some sort or worse, sounding scripted. Engage into an interactive conversation by just being yourself.

3.    Don’t be argumentative. It is a date, not a debate. The last thing she wants is someone who keeps on opposing what she has to say or a guy who rudely interrupts.

4.    Listen. Show your interest by being an active listener. Be mindful of those tiny bits of information that she is giving out which can be used as a reference in the future. As much as needed, turn off your smartphone and forget about social media the whole time that you are with her unless it's very important or an emergency.

5.  Be courteous. Always think first before you talk. Like the toothpaste concept, once it’s out, you can’t just put it back. Don’t ever talk about sex, sexual positions and other perverse topics on your first date. Chivalry is still so much alive.

6.   Be respectful. Manners guys. Chances are, you might not agree with some of her opinions. She may be wrong but don’t argue and slam it to her face that she is wrong and your opinion is all that matters. We all have our own personal point of views, so acknowledge the difference and don’t send her this judgy vibe which is a turn-off by the way!

7.   Don’t be a show off. The last thing that girls want to hear is your accumulated family wealth, how much is the cost of your car, or the money that you are making and those fancy things you own. She is not an item with a price tag in the forehead.

8.    Give her full attention. Please, even if there are some hotter girls within the radar; make the complete effort of giving your full attention to her. It is rude to have your eyes all over the place especially if she is talking about something so important. In short, don’t be a jerk.

9.     Inject humor. If there are awkward silence, use humor to break the ice. It paves a long way to crack jokes and be funny every now and then. But don’t act silly all throughout the date else she’ll cringe thinking that you are not really serious about a lot of things.

10.  Thank her for giving the time and effort of going out with you. And hopefully will happen again, soon!

Dating is supposed to be a fun way of knowing this special girl that caught your interest. It’s okay to be nervous at first but once you start the conversation by simply being true to yourself, then the rest of it will just be a piece of cake.

Be open with the outcome. It might be successful to some but others will find themselves at the end of the line maybe because of personality differences, lack of chemistry and some other factors. Be a good sport.

Just in case it didn’t work out, that’s okay. As they say, "there's plenty of fish in the sea". Maybe it’s not meant to be and God had set another one for you that you will meet later in your life. Who knows? Just pray that the next girl that you’ll go out with will eventually be “the one.”

Image credit: Huffington Post